There’s A Place For Me

October 10, 2020, Day 2:

As I woke up shivering from my two-hour power nap to the sound of rain, a damp sleeping bag, and condensation dripping on my face, I could only wake up with an attitude of gratitude. 

I have been “that teen” in the past who jokingly complained when things didn’t go the way she wanted them to. Praise Jesus, I quickly grew out of that. (Formal apology to those of you who were my leaders during that time. I get it now. HAHA)

 This was different. I can confidently say frustration never entered my spirit the entirety of this training camp. I had the most peace I have ever felt in my entire relationship with Jesus. Trusting Him has always been difficult for me until now. It is still not easy, but there is an overwhelming amount of peace that comes with knowing my Father is in control. In the moments of feeling completely exhausted, (remember that two-hour power nap…haha) I just kept clinging to 2 Corinthians 12:9 and Matthew 11: 28-30. Not once did I want to throw the towel in. I pray the day will never come, but let’s be real.. This is going to be one of, if not the most, challenging things I have ever done. Growing up people would paint this picture that once you surrender to Jesus, life is just full of mountain tops, which made walking through the valleys seem unbearable. A life that’s surrendered to Jesus shouldn’t be easy, but when it isn’t He is faithful to provide the strength you are lacking. I struggled with this for a long time. I felt like everyone around me had it all together, and I can see now as an adult that was not the case. To myself, my teens, and the littles that look up to me, I promise that I will never act like it’s easy. I promise to remind you that you will never walk alone. He promises us that He will never leave us nor forsake us, and I in full confidence will take Him at His word. He has only ever proven His faithfulness to me.

   On day two, we learned the difference between identity and purpose. For the majority of my life, I thought they were pretty much the same thing. Your identity in Christ and your purpose are tied together, but different. I have always struggled with my purpose and the fear that comes with “finding my seat at the table.” It’s funny how the enemy will project his fear of seeing you walk in your identity as a child of God because he knows he has no chance against the one who we identify under. For years I have allowed my identity to be defined by those around me and not by the one who knows my worth. You don’t know the value of a coin in someone else’s hand unless they show you how much it’s worth. This past week Holy Spirit opened His hand and I for the first time let Him show me that the empty seat at the table is open just for me. My identity didn’t allow that seat to be empty, and neither did my purpose. He made room for me. I encourage you, friend, to join me in learning the difference between our purpose and identity. Ask Holy Spirit “Who am I”, “What lies do I believe about myself”, and “What truths do you want to speak over me?” He will answer. I promise.

Until next time…